Perinatal Loss & Grief

Child loss during the perinatal period is not uncommon - yet very few people talk about it due to the complicated feelings that arise and the fact that American society is ill-equipped to support parents navigating this reality. For these reasons, the grief experienced after the death of a child during pregnancy, birth, or infancy can be traumatic and isolating.

Miscarriage, stillbirth, TFMR, embryo loss, ectopic pregnancy, neonatal death, and SIDS are deeply distressing experiences that can have profound effects on mental health. Parents may grapple with a complex array of emotions, including sadness, guilt, anger, confusion, and shame - amongst many other feelings that might be difficult to name or process. Despite what we're taught to expect about mourning the death of a loved one (especially a child), the psychological impact extends beyond the immediate aftermath, often lingering months and years after the physical loss has occurred. Untreated trauma and grief associated with perinatal loss can have lasting repercussions on emotional well-being, leading to a significantly higher risk of depression, anxiety, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), and obsessive-compulsive disorder.

Starting grief counseling may be a critical part of understanding and processing the loss, and finding meaningful, healthy ways to integrate this difficult reality into your life. By acknowledging the unique challenges faced by individuals navigating life after the death of a child in therapy, we can de-stigmatize the experience, connect you with relevant support and resources, and promote your inner healing and resilience.

When it's time to get help:

Intense Sadness

Overwhelming feelings of sadness and despair are common following miscarriage or stillbirth. Mothers may struggle to find joy in everyday activities and experience waves of profound sorrow. When these thoughts become about your worthiness to live, it's especially important to get help.

Guilt & Self Blame

Many mothers and birthing parents blame themselves for the loss of their child, even if the circumstances were beyond their control. In therapy, we can unpack these thoughts and prevent them from becoming persistent, pervasive, and intrusive.

Anxiety & Fear

Fear of experiencing another loss or anxiety about future pregnancies is prevalent among mothers who have experienced miscarriage or stillbirth or other forms of perinatal loss. These feelings can be debilitating and impact daily functioning.

Anger & Irritability

Grief can manifest as anger, whether directed towards oneself, others, or the situation itself. Mothers may feel a sense of injustice or frustration, leading to irritability and mood swings. These feelings can be confusing, uncomfortable, and scary. Therapy is a safe place to process.

Difficulty Sleeping or Eating

Insomnia, changes in appetite, and disturbances in sleep (i.e., night terrors, nightmares) are common symptoms of perinatal grief. These physical manifestations of grief can further exacerbate emotional distress. Developing coping skills to improve sleep and eat are important parts of recovering

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If you are ready to make change and would like to speak with Megan, please schedule a free 15-minute consult.

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Where we stand:

Perinatal loss is devastating for every affected parent, and Megan DuBose has unique life and work experience to walk alongside those who seek grief counseling through their journey. Additionally, it is important to recognize loss can be especially isolating and dangerous for people who tend to be marginalized by our society. Spark + Pivot takes a strong stance in affirming and advocating for folks who are navigating abortion, termination for medical reasons (TFMR), and health-related discrimination due to racism, homophobia, and transphobia. To ensure the most comprehensive and affirming care is provided to our clients, Megan DuBose proactively seeks training, resources, and referral sources that prioritize human rights over dangerous political rhetoric.

Discrimation in BIPOC Maternal Health

Therapy addressing racial pregnancy discrimination offers a crucial avenue for support, recognition, and healing for women of color. Cultural expectations of inner strength often leave women of color suffering in solitude, compounding the already devastating impact of racial disparities in pregnancy outcomes.

Research underscores the harrowing reality that Black, indigenous, and people of color (BIPOC) face heightened risks, with higher rates of stillbirth compared to their white counterparts. We understand that despite the potential benefits of counseling, many BIPOC folks refrain from seeking support due negative past experiences with providers; the discomfort of reliving traumatic experiences; and feeling out of place in traditional support settings.

The isolation and fear experienced by BIPOC birthing parents during and after pregnancy loss highlight the urgent need for tailored and culturally-sensitive therapy. Racism, both systemic and interpersonal, significantly impacts access to healthcare and contributes to adverse pregnancy outcomes for women of color. Recognizing these disparities is crucial in providing equitable care and support.

By acknowledging and addressing racism within the healthcare system, therapy can play a pivotal role in empowering parents, validating their experiences, and advocating for the equitable treatment they deserve during pregnancy and childbirth. Megan DuBose is committed to recognizing, confronting, and dismantling systemic racism in the therapy room to ensure that all women receive the care and support they are entitled to.

TFMR

TFMR, an acronym for "Termination for Medical Reasons," denotes the difficult decision to end a pregnancy due to either fetal abnormalities or maternal health concerns. This heartbreaking choice often arises when medical conditions render the baby's life incompatible with survival or jeopardize the health of the mother. Unfortunately, within the realm of pregnancy loss, TFMR - and abortion in general - can carry a unique burden due to societal stigma and the politicization of abortion. The silence, stigma, and shame surrounding these losses can exacerbate the already profound grief experienced. Societal pressure often compels grieving parents to conceal the circumstances of their loss, leaving them isolated and unsupported during a time of immense need. It's crucial to recognize that pregnancies terminated for any reason are complex and heartbreaking. Bereaved parents deserve understanding, compassion, and unwavering support as they navigate the complexities of their loss. Providing a safe space for honest dialogue and empathy can help alleviate the isolation and foster healing in the wake of such devastating circumstances.

Discrimation in LGBTQ+ Healthcare

Therapy tailored to address the unique challenges faced by LGBTQ+ individuals during pregnancy offers vital support amidst heightened risks and discrimination. Research indicates a concerning disparity, with LGBTQ+ individuals experiencing twice the risk of stillbirth compared to heterosexual counterparts. Moreover, lesbian women are significantly more likely to undergo IVF, a process fraught with emotional and physical challenges, often culminating in pregnancy loss, compounded by experiences of discrimination and marginalization.

Navigating pregnancy, childbirth, and postpartum experiences within the LGBTQ+ community is further complicated by political and societal climates, which may undermine reproductive rights and LGBTQ+ rights. These stressors contribute to a sense of isolation and heightened anxiety throughout the conception journey and beyond.

Megan DuBose prioritizes creating a safe and affirming space for LGBTQ+ clients to process their experiences, confront discrimination, and develop coping strategies to navigate the complexities of pregnancy and parenthood.

Helpful Resources

Experiencing perinatal loss is a challenging journey, accompanied by overwhelming emotions and deep grief. Thankfully, there are resources offering guidance, solace, and professional counseling to support parents. From supportive communities to informative literature, these resources provide practical tools for coping, fostering healing and hope.